This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed)
So one of the beautiful things about this show (at least in my mind,) is the callbacks. We will take jokes, things that are said and even ideas that can stretch months back and throw them out as need be. While this topic technically doesn't go back forever ago, we did have a topic yesterday that became a discussion today. This throwback involved The Rock, who explained that when he was young and poor, he used to steal a king sized Snickers every day from 7-11. Now that he's wealthy and arguably the biggest movie star on the planet, he decided to repay his debt (as it will look good when he runs for political office as well probably.) I won't beat the same details of the topic from yesterday here for the sake (go read Monday's notes!) so I'll move us right along to today's expansion. Angi wanted to hear from the roadies about their younger days, when stealing was cool. For example, Angi used to steal everything back in the day. Though I can think of several instances she has given on air already, we focus back on when she used to steal money from a corner store. Her and her friends had wised up to the idea that the store owner would leave cash for the paper man in the morning for him to pick up when he delivered the papers. Knowing this, they would go and steal the money each morning on the way to school. It took a month before the guy realized what was going on and he finally clamped down on her thieving by padlocking the money box. She insisted on adding a secondary tale about a friend's mom whose fingers were also super sticky. The klepto and the kids were at the Taj Mahal in Vegas having lunch when her purse grew three sizes larger after she stuffed the tea cups, butter tray and waiter's wallet into it. As we discussed yesterday, Panterica used to steal makeup from Walmart all the time. I too have ridden on the stealing train and have taken everything from candy to cash from a place I used to work at. With all that established and the idea set down, we took to the Request Line to hear what bad kid nonsense the roadies got into. Mckayla was up first and she gushed on her love of stealing from Forever 21. As a guesstimate, she assumed she stole roughly $2,000 worth of merchandise (which is a lot when you assume how cheap the clothes are there.) The con was quite simple as well, her and her friends would go into a dressing room in overalls. They would try on everything and then just return half of what they were wearing back while wearing the other half out the store. As Angi pointed out, dressing rooms are usually messy as hell anyway so it's hard to keep track of what went in and out. Since Abe's story was boring, he told of a friend who worked at County Seat that would let friends come in and fill garbage bags with stuff. Patrick called to say he was a Target manager and he ran the electronics department (uh oh.) He stole DVD players, multiple copies of Grand Theft Auto to sell and plenty of other stuff. Shawn used to work at Michaels as a shipping and receiving manager. He said they never really prosecuted theft so he would steal candles and candle holders and sell them out of the trunk of his car. Shauna said that when she was 10 and living in Florida, they found $1,000 in a friend's mom's closet while playing dress up. They took $100 a day and would go to a local convenience store to buy jelly bracelets. If you are looking for more roadie comments or have your own, hit up our socials (FB group, Twitter, Instagram) and read up or drop us a comment.
Other Stuff from Today's Show
So, this Gay Tuesday morning saw two signs that the apocalypse is coming to claim this show. Now, normal signs would be like bombs, war and all the nonsense that can easily wipe out the human race. What I'm talking about here is signs, one from nature and one from a deranged woman who clearly has lost the will to live. It began this morning with Angi discussing rats in the alley, which is as commonplace as knowing Abe will eat a sandwich before the day is through. So, this section of giant fat rats scurrying around the alley, hiding in garages and garbage cans all were up to no good. That's right, according to Angi, the plague is coming. The rat that she saw that was the size of a loaf of bread ended up heading into his biological warfare lab and is almost ready to release the plague. I know, this seems like utter nonsense but rats cooking up bio weapons makes sense because they are smart enough to send the dumb rats out for food poison testing, this is clearly the next evolution of it. So, before we all die, perhaps we should finally get around to going to check out the Industrial Strip. Now if you don't remember us discussing it, this is that disgusting place in Indiana that puts a washrag on your lap (as the dances can get sloppy and messy.) Since Angi has been dead set about going, they took a peek behind the proverbial curtain and found out that there is something even more ridiculous offered. That's right, they have bed dances and the discussion then ensued about exactly if the mattress has sheets put on it and if they change the sheets. So, what did the opening of the show this morning teach us? Apparently, we're going to die and Angi wants to get some form of STD before she does.
Also on the to do list before the end of the world is the canceling of streaming accounts. Before you ask, by the way, I'm just going to run the end of the world theme through these notes because it feels like something fun to do. Anyway, streaming accounts are man's best friend and also your best friend's friend. This idea is what led to an Angi dilemma that she discussed this morning that has been on her mind. You see, she has a friend, a good friend at that who has been using her Hulu account for years. Well, Angi happened to see a show on Hulu that screamed this friend. It was some kind of mess about dating and astrology that is made for people who love reality shows. Angi took it upon herself to be a good friend and text the other friend about it. This is where the problem sprung to life and then spiraled out of control. The friend said that she doesn't use Angi's Hulu account anymore because she gave her sister access to the account and then something happened. On top of that, she lost the login information and she had intended to hit Angi up for it. Abe explained that only one person should be given access and if you're the extra person (aka the double share,) then you're a jobber. Even if the person you've given it out to in this double share is a good friend, they're still a jobber. The thing is, the friend doing this has messed everything up and may have even corrupted Angi's account. Considering this made Angi decide that she's going to just go delete this friend off her account by the end of the day. This led to one more Abe take away and way to have fun with the person you cut off. Once access is rejected, people come to you wanting a login and he suggests just lying to them that the password is the same and clearly the issue is on their end.
Finally, if we're all going to go out, we might as well overindulge in drinking as we do. With that in mind, assuming that you decided to get wasted and you need something to compensate for the hangover the next day, Angi has a list of fast foods to fix it. This is particularly important to me as I drink on Monday nights and I'm hankering for something to soak up the booze. Abe's go to fix is always the 2 for $6 Whoppers from Burger King. Now mind you, back in the day the Burger King on Archer used to have 99 cent Whoppers (can confirm, this was the best.) Well, since that doesn't exist, let's look at other things to make up for it (and in turn, soak up the alcohol.)
McDonald's - Egg and Cheese Biscuit.
Taco Bell - A Crunch Wrap Supreme (though Abe swears by the Breakfast Crunch Wrap, which Angi has never had.)
Whataburger - Food or something (Angi didn't elaborate)
In-N-Out - Fries (they also have "Onions Every Way," which Angi is going to go nuts on next time she gets the chance.)
Popeyes - The Chicken Sandwich (get two though, Abe swears by them.)
Subway - Italian BMT
Waffle House - Literally anything
Basically you want bread, proteins and some Pedialyte (that has Jack in it.)
Request Wars 2.0
Champion: Angi (Streak: 7)
Angi's (repping Lisa) Song Choice: "Fight Fire with Fire" by Metallica
Abe's (repping Mandy) Song Choice: "Blackened" by Metallica
Smack Talk Recap:
This is Abe's favorite Metallica song. Lisa saw Angi & Abe at Metallica when Maria Palmer rode their shoulders. Abe offered up that Metallica got better when Cliff Burton died. Abe really wants to hear his song. Angi happens to love Blackened whiskey.
Winner: Abe
10 O'Clock Toast:
Every man JLO dated between the first Ben Affleck breakup and eventually getting back together with him.
Have one for ARod, Marc Anthony, Drake and Casper Smart. She truly never got over Ben and spent 18 years with other guys who meant nothing to her (poor dudes.)
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"I don't recommend being hit in the head with a frying pan no matter what." - Abe
"I'm going to show my tits and see what happens." - Angi